Thursday, June 09, 2005

When it feels like life is lost

I feel drained.

I thought I had done my best and yet I cannot finish the accumulating load. This is so demoralising for my soul. It saddens me terribly. I thought I have been working very hard, and yet I still could not catch up with backlogs and the present load. If life is forever like this, I might rather forsake it and play symphonies that speaks of the pain and sufferings in life in the land whose name starts with "N".

Energy lost, and it felt like life is lost.

If there is anything that keeps me going, I think it is the kindness that the world has showered on me. I could only beg in despair that I would be clear-sighted to see enough of what would keep me going.

But for now, I feel overwhelmed. The world out there, will it be meant for me at all?

The cough is bad. If it continues at this rate, it would feel as if I would end up losing at least 30 years from my lifespan.

Maybe life is meant to have its set of pain? And in exchange, we could feel appreciative when we get to be showered with the kindness that the world offers.

For now, I shall urge myself on.

7 comments:

mistipurple said...

tried changing doctor? sometimes helps, because some docs relate better to us for various reasons.

oceanskies79 said...

I just went to see a doctor who practise traditional Chinese medicine this evening. Hope that might help.

mistipurple said...

good good, see how dat goes. chinese physicians work on getting your system strong, instead of bombarding it with medicines. anyway i have had my share of both. i am healthier now, though still weak. i wish you good health ocean. you will get better. you must believe this. half the battle is won when you think positive. anyway do believe that this bad phase will pass. it happens almost to everyone.

Jammie J. said...

I'm sorry you're not feeling your best. (hug) Here are wishes for a stronger tomorrow.

Emy said...

hey! get well soon...

i thought the cough on wednesday was bad enuf... its worse huh...

well, i wish u all the best of luck and life... get well sooN! may an apple a day keep the doctor away (unless its a handsome one *haha*) and see you next wed! (sun's reh got cancelled! im so sad...)

Emy said...

hey! get well soon...

i thought the cough on wednesday was bad enuf... its worse huh...

well, i wish u all the best of luck and life... get well sooN! may an apple a day keep the doctor away (unless its a handsome one *haha*) and see you next wed! (sun's reh got cancelled! im so sad...)

pinkie said...

Try to eat well and drink plenty of fluids... When I was 13 year old, it took me six months to recover from cough! But it was a blessing in disguise cos that was how I slim down...

U take care k...