Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Gibbering on Chinese New Year's Eve

Today's Chinese New Year's Eve.

Life seems a little different without me needing to feed the Luohan fish. It has passed away and I wonder whether its spirit of resilience has also went away with it? Yet, life goes on. I am fine, basically.

There is just an air of feeling a little upset. I felt this way while I was walking towards my work place from the Mass Rapid Transit train station yesterday morning. There seemed nothing much to look forward to. There was a sense of meaninglessness, and such a sense of meaningless has often bring me a rather melancholic mood.

But strangely, perhaps there was an intention from unknown forces to cheer me up. I called in the classical radio station yesterday morning to answer the question to one of the contests and I won myself the prize. The prize was nothing very grand. Yet, it was quite a delightful surprise, considering that it was the first time that I got through the hotline and won myself a prize. It brightened my day a little. A nice way to start the day considering that yesterday was a very tiring and busy day for me.

Back to today. On the eve of Chinese New Year, the Chinese has the custom of having reunion dinner. Everyone in the family is supposed to try to make himself/ herself available to have dinner together with the rest of the family.

Chinese New Year is supposedly a joyous occassion. However, its effect on me is rather very mild. The slight melancholic mood still lurks in me. There is not much I felt I could look forward to. I shall not attempt to push myself too hard to get into a joyous and exuberant mood. Such attempts, I find more energy draining. Let the feelings come and soon they will pass.

Whatever it is, may you have a pleasant Chinese New Year.

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